Immaturity makes a Good Movie but a Crappy Life

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I just watched a movie called Baby on Board. In it, the main characters, Jerry O'Connell and Heather Graham, have a huge misunderstanding. Each thinks the other is cheating on their marriage. Both are given bad advice by their friends. Neither wants to talk about it to each other and get it worked out. Both are willing to let their marriage and lives be destroyed because neither has the most basic level of maturity needed to do the one thing needed to save it: Talk like adults.

If they had talked like mature adults, it would've taken about five seconds until they figured out they were both wrong, and worked it out. Of course, then we wouldn't've had a movie to watch.

The sad thing is, the movie isn't that far-fetched. There are a lot of people who would rather fight than figure out what the problem is and get it taken care of. But there was a lot more ruining their relationship than the two of them not talking.

For instance, they both assumed the other was guilty and delivered punishment on the basis of that assumption. That's what happens when you don't talk things out or care about the truth.

Here in the United States and many other parts of the world, our courts and in fact our very way of life is based on the presumption of innocence. Take that away, and where are we left? If we never trust anyone, we never grow.

Look at it this way: even on the microscopic scale, cells have to learn how to work together to accomplish things they can't do apart. Some cells become muscles, some become skin, some get together to form a brain, and before you know it, a trillion cells are working together to form a whole that is far greater than the sum of its parts. Sure, there are more bacteria than there are Humans, but bacteria can't build rocket ships.

In ancient times, people learned how to trust each other and work together to form villages. Some people would gather food, while others would make clothes, and still others would look after the children, and still others would protect the village from wild animals. Over time, these groups learned how to trust other groups and grow their villages into cities. Cities learned to work together to form states. States form alliances and trade unions like the United States or the European Union or NATO. And one day, these alliances will unify into a single world government. Bacteria can't do that because bacteria don't know how to work together. Bacteria don't trust each other.

The presumption of innocence is what allows people to believe in their family, to make friends, and to form relationships of all kinds. The presumption of innocence is what trust is ultimately founded upon. Without trusting someone, you can't make anything larger than yourself. And if you can't make anything larger than yourself, you have no purpose in life. You may as well shrivel up and stop breathing all my oxygen.

Assuming guilt is what a pessimist does. Pessimists lead very unsatisfactory lives and never amount to anything. They're too busy trying to get ahead by tearing others down. Assuming strangers aren't out to get you is a positive outlook to have. Not all positive people go down in the history books, but only positive people ever do anything worthwhile. They get ahead by building other people up, who then return the favor.

Imagine a bunch of people are stuck in a big hole and they all want out. At first they fight amongst each other. Each one wants the others to help him get out, but no one trusts anyone enough to work together, and they stay in the hole. If anyone tries to climb out on his own, he is quickly pulled back; no one wants to let anyone else be the first out of the hole, for fear they'll run away with the rope. But if they decide to work together and trust one another, then they can boost one person out, who can then tie off the rope and toss it back down and help pull someone else out. Then the two can pull more people out, and so on, until everyone is out of the hole.

It's pretty simple, folks. Expect lousy things and no one wins. Expect great things and everyone wins. And if you're having a problem with someone, talk to them and get it worked out.

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More articles you'll find interesting or amusing:
You are What you Consume
Writing is Easy
Webster's Rejects

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